By Alexander Rodriguez
It’s that time again – get out the glitter, stop eating carbs, get those brows done and break out the rainbows – it’s PRIDE 2019! I don’t want to see any of you rolling your eyes and yawning, “Oh that again?” If as a frequent traveler from Pride to Pride – Miami, LA, San Diego, New York, San Francisco, Long Beach – the shine has somewhat dulled over the years; the crowds have blended into a blur, the headliners all seem the same, and the drinks get smaller but more expensive. Sigh. What’s a girl, or guy, or inbetweener to do?
Well… Sin is in! Or rather “out” – as in out of the closet at the suggestively named, perfectly titled Temptation Resort in Cancun Mexico. For the first time in resort history, Temptation is “coming out” for a full week of Pride with everything you’d want from from a gay cruise – all inclusive, themed parties, sexy pool days, foam extravaganzas, hot beats from name DJs, drinks bigger than your head, full service amenities, and perhaps my favorite part – no kids! But without the struggle of a gay cruise – the dysentery, the bad plumbing, the sea sickness, the food poisoning and the teeny tiny rooms. At the end of the Pride rainbow, you can find yourself immersed in the sultry throngs of an adult only, totally inclusive, 430-room playground where bears and twinks can mingle, and nerds and jocks can explore under the sultry Mexican sun. Aye aye aye! And for the ladies, there’s topless areas of the resort so you can let your Pride flap in the wind. No word yet if there’s any bottomless areas for the boys, unless you count the bottomless mimosas. If you just want to stay in your room and watch porn, there’s that too – adult TV programming 24/7. Order the room service though, it’s curated by Chef Adrian Peregrina and you’ll probably need to carb load for the amount of partying you’ll be doing.
From Instagram star to fitness model to Subway sandwich artist, everyone is a celebrity Pride headliner at the Tower by Temptation high end experience as you get your VIP check-in, swag bag (with stuff you actually want), free room service, Sky vodka cocktail (yaasss), welcome snack basket (yes, the gays do actually eat), fully stocked bar for entertaining (you never know who you’ll want to show off your room for), pillow menu (is this gluten free?), sensual kit (for the stuff you were too embarrassed to let TSA see) and even pool and beach butler service – ohhh, pool boy! (Sorry, fraternizing with the staff is prohibited, but there’s literally plenty of fish in the sea.)
Don’t pack your inhibitions, you’ll need room for all your outfits. There’s the welcome party that you’ll want to dress to impress – get out of your weekly corporate suit or Whole Foods apron, this trip you’re allowed to be whomever you want. Pack that sunscreen, girl, you don’t want to get a sunburn in your first days at the resort, the second night is the Black Party – and you know how leather can chafe.
Too many clothes for you? Then the 3rd night Toga party is right up your…alley. Relive your college frat night parties with your carefully tucked and folded toga outfit, make sure to show enough leg and flex those arms, just don’t use the Egyptian sheets from your luxury bed, you’ll need those later for that cutie you just met. Feeling a little psychedelic? Break out the glow sticks – it’s a raver’s fantasy at Glow Night, paint and wear what you want to be highlighted, Party Monsters eat your heart out. Who knows what will appear under that black light? It’s a sexy CSI episode.
Oops I did it again, and now you can too – school girls and nerds unite for the 5th themed night – this time it’s ok to look like a Catholic school boy and flirt with your teacher – school is in. Don’t tell Jeffrey Sanker, but they are upping the game with a White Party night – bring your Tide pen and bring your white finery – is it lace? Is it cotton? Who cares, the real question: Is it see through?
Finally, let’s celebrate our Service Men or service a few men while the week ends with Uniform night – cops, fireman, sailors, even the UPS guy, or better yet, still have that boy scout uniform? Now you have an excuse to use those handcuffs you have in your nightstand.
For all you foodies, there are eight restaurants to choose from depending what kind of food you’re in the mood for and what you are wearing – from sensual elegant dining to beach casual (is a speedo considered beach casual?), they got you covered. And for all the butch guys and gals who pretend to watch sports, there’s even a sports bar (named Score, lol) and five other bars to choose from – make sure you practice your pick up lines, you’re going to need them. And don’t forget to bring your mermaid tail, there’s a swim up bar for you!
If you’ve ever been tempted to try something like this, this is the perfect place to do it. This resort has built its reputation on providing high quality, 21 and over, discreet daytime adventures and nighttime fun to include everyone. There are no judgements here, forgot to lose those 20 pounds from winter? Do you dance like you’re having a seizure? Do you drink like a fish and workout like a muscle head? Do you want to take a million selfies in an amazing locale with colorful surroundings or do you want to put the phone away and remain undercover? Want to bring a group of your besties and recreate your favorite Sex and The City moments or do you want to fly solo and find the perfect man, woman or in between of your dreams? Now you have the place, you have the week, you have the excuse. This is the place to make your dreams come true, it’s Fantasy Island meets RuPaul meets Baywatch meets Studio 54. Your blackouts never had so much fun. Are you tempted yet?
Who knows how a week can change you? It’s time to celebrate with a fresh take on Pride, step outside of the box – there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to share the pics on Facebook, and you may have to explain why you are walking funny to Brenda in accounting when you get back to work, but isn’t that what an adult vacation is for?
Don’t be left out of the fun, visit Temptation Cancun Resort Pride Week 2019 here!
Great article! See you in July.